take it or leave it

Hello to you!

I know I know I haven’t been posting anything and that’s because I have been busy living in the most normal and nothing much way. So basically I do not have anything to publish about.

Well not for now. At least today is a bit different though.

As you know its been more than a year already that I have been out of school and has been unemployed too ever since I’ve got my license (please don’t ask me why 🙈)

Long story short.. Now I’m planning to go back to school for my masters. Well not really planning since I’ll be enrolling already next week sooo yeah! 

One thing that troubles me is that at the same time I’m also planning on enrolling at another school for a special course that I think will also be helpful for my career I just doubt that I can handle both as the same time I just hope there won’t be any conflicts on my sched.

Its just sad that this time I’m on my own and that my besties are having their own life too. Will school feel the same without them? Of course not.

And is it weird that this time I don’t have have plans on having a very close relationship with anyone? But friend. Yes nothing more. Although that won’t help me get through everything easily but I just want to keep distance from anyone this time.

My antisocial self is kicking off too strong, I know

I’m not even sad about it. I’m just going to do it. I don’t want the idea of waiting and having to talk to someone all the time gosh I’m sorry I should stop 

Am I the only one going through this?

All this time I have been at home and I’ve been spending so much time loving myself that I’m finding it hard to be close with anyone. I even feel sorry for my soon-to-be-friends for having to know someone like me.

I should die. I know. For seeing people as a potential foreseeable stress. I’m sorry, I really am. 

Thoughts please! 🙊